Today I’ve been battling with how to deal with some very delicate issues to no avail, and although I haven’t found the answer to my questions I was relieved to read a couple of articles in the August Essence that reinforced my beliefs.
In the “‘get lifted” monthly column written by Bishop T. D. Jakes the focus is on self love and being comfortable in ones self. I have been debating the issue of happiness with a loved one for months now, and Bishop Jakes summed up my argument with the use of scripture. Well not scripture per se, but the wisdom of a man who has studied the scripture extensively.
At the core of the dilemma is understanding that God has placed each of us here on this planet with a purpose, and it is our job to find, embrace and live that purpose. Further he stresses that the companionship and love of a partner is not the cure to our own internal happiness. That happens within, we must embrace ourselves, get to know ourselves and develop a self-love that will transcend to others.
The second article, also focusing on the challenges and consequences of a lack of self-love dealt specifically with the competition and cattiness so prevalent with black women. While many of us have established and nurtured lifelong relationships with one another, we can also be very vicious and mean to other women. From snide comments and remarks to just downright hostile treament.
At the core to this behavior, according to a number of experts including Phyllis Chesler, professor emeritus of pschology and women’s studies at Cit University of New York and Angela D. Coleman, president and founder of the Sisterhood Agenda is again, a lack of self-love. Many women who have issues with themselves including a lack of self-esteem find the solace and self-worth we need in deflating the image other women have of themselves.
My point in recounting these articles is a need for us all to embrace the You in You! We have only one life to live and it is imperative that we live it to the best of our ability, knowing that We are the Best part of ourselves, and when we see something lacking within ourselves – focus on adjusting You for the better. Do not look for others to fulfill who you are.
At the core, You Are the Best You there is!