My friend Sharon keeps me up to date with the latest interesting tidbits in the New York Times, Washington Post and any number of newspapers throughout the country and today was no different when I opened my email to find a suggestion from the Post, “Marriage is for white people”. It was a hectic day and I didn’t have time to read the piece right then so I printed it and brought it home to read.
What a read! Joy Jones is to be commended for this well researched and well written article which suggests that black folk have just given up on the “…until death do us part.” I, like Jones, grew up during a time when two-parent families were the norm and not until I basically reached adulthood did I begin to notice that a lot of people around me were saying “See ya!” Yet even with many folks getting divorced and many of my friends now having children without the benefit of a husband I still felt that marriage was in my future.
I however, was not rushing and reeling to get to the altar I had a lot of living to do before I would say “I do”. I can’t say I did it all, but I don’t have many regrets about waiting until I was kissing 40 to take that plunge. It was not a quick decision – my husband and I dated and lived together for more than 10 years before making it legal, and ultimately that’s how I looked at it for a number of years. It’s just a piece of paper. We committed to each other years before and I know that the first time he proposed I was not ready and brother wasn’t either.
While I could relate with a lot of what the women and men interviewed said about marriage it was sad to read that so many of us, particularly women are opting not to enter into these unions.
It’s been more than a week since my last post and I don’t know where to begin. I have just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd’s wonderful story of a young girl’s search for love, acceptance and the nurturing that you would think only your mother could provide. Wrong! Lilly, the narrator and star of this beautiful story, finds nurturing in the most unexpected place – well unexpected for those who are unfamiliar with the DNA found in black women. If you haven’t read it, please do and I promise you won’t regret it.
Couldn’t believe the Academy actually chose Hustle & Flow’s “It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp” as best original score! I saw the movie and basically enjoyed it. What I found interesting was the fact that the character seeking a new life was the pimp and in most movies the prostitute is the person seeking a better life.
Heard on the Tom Joyner show this morning that it really is a modern version of the 70’s blaxploitation hit “The Mack”. I don’t really recall “The Mack” so I’ll have to find it on tape and take a peak.
Also truly surprised that “Crash” took home best picture! Will admit I have not seen it, but will check it out this week. Seems that in some areas we are taking baby steps forward – that is realizing that issues such as racism do still exist and must be addressed!
Riding to the store today I was listening to Heather Headley’s new CD and the track “I Didn’t Mean To” caught my ear and had me nearly in tears! The song is so sad, but so beautiful. I also loved the fact that a sister was singing about how we (ladies) also do dirt. Don’t know why it touched me so. I haven’t been in that situation. Maybe it has to do with the characters I am currently writing about. Similar story line in that Mommy leaves, but not due to getting her swerve on elsewhere.
As I was supposed to be getting dressed to go out to the grocery store this afternoon I paused and caught a portion of Singletarry Says with Michelle Singletarry and it was like being on the highway late at night and the high beams are piercing your eyes. Having a few issues of late with cash flow, because unlike the America in GWB’s world the economy in Ohio is still on the very lean side but I digress. Listening to the advice offered to this couple I realized that I am preparing for my retirement future in a large way, but that rainy day fund is dry, so I think I’ll divert some of my direct deposits to the rainy day fund until it is whole. Thanks, Michelle!